A Wedding Homily

Names of Bride and Groom, you planned this evening to celebrate your love and to pledge yourselves to each other before God and your family and friends gathered here.  You planned very carefully—the guest list, the flowers, the food.  We participated in a rehearsal last night, so each member of your wedding party would know when to walk and where to stand.  All this careful planning had one goal—a perfect wedding.

But all the careful planning in the world will not make your life together perfect.  We can never plan for every situation life places in our path.  We can never reach perfection in our relationship with another person through our own efforts—no matter how much we love them.  So, today I am asking you to give up a false ideal of a perfect relationship (I think perhaps you already realize this) and instead work to create a life together full of joy.

We heard two readings this evening that speak to this question.  The first reading from St. Paul's letter to the Christians in the city of Corinth about the nature of love. The second comes St. Mark's gospel and describes the nature of human relationships that God has blessed.  In these passages we find the principles you need to follow for a marriage that brings both of you joy.

Joy comes from living faithfully.  That means keeping faith with each other and with the promises you made before God and the family and friends who have gathered today to support you.

Joy comes from living hopefully, placing your trust first in God and then in your beloved.  This trust means that you know you will never be alone in the face of life's wonderful and life's difficult moments. When Jesus said that we must become like little children in order to be able to enter the reign of God, I believe he is talking about the trust children have that the adults who love them will always take care of them.

Joy comes from living in a relationship characterized by self-giving love.  This kind of love goes the distance and respects the needs of the beloved before one's own.  Most often marriage will not be a 50-50 arrangement.  Sometimes each of you will need to go 60 or 70 or even 90 percent of the way to meet the other's needs.  You will give the care your beloved needs, and you will receive the care you need.  You always will try live without envy or arrogance or selfishness.  But when you fail to live to this standard of self-giving love—and of course everyone will fail at times—both of you will ask for and receive the forgiveness you need from each other.  Then you will be able to rebuild the trusting, faithful love that will bring you much joy.

Yes, Names of the Bride and Groom, your married life together need not be perfect to be filled with joy.  Work together to be faithful to God and to each other.  Place your hope and trust in God and in each other.  Offer all that you have and all that you are to God and to each other.  And forgive each other as God has forgiven you.  Do all these things and you will know much joy in your life together for all of your days.